


Both Sides Now

by workshy_ish



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Jim's POV, M/M, POV Second Person, Soulmates AU, With A Twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 19:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7653376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/workshy_ish/pseuds/workshy_ish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He was never meant to be the one for you. No matter how much you tried to make it work; how much you wanted it to work. It was never gonna be just you and him."</p>
<p>When your soulmate's name is tattooed on your body, but your heart belongs to someone else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Both Sides Now

He was never meant to be the one for you.

No matter how much you tried to make it work; how much you **wanted** it to work. It was never gonna be just you and him. Jim and Bones.

In a world where the name of a person's soulmate is written onto their skin for everyone to see, any person would think there's no way to get it wrong. You get a name tattooed on your wrist, on your chest, maybe even on your forehead, and that's it. You're settled for good. The only thing left for you to do is to find this person and live happily ever after. Done.

But you've never been any person. And you never really thought much of who Carol Marcus was, or whether she was the only one for you. Sure, when you finally met her, she was amazing. She's smart, graceful in everything she did, but she's not Bones.

You remember the moment you got in the shuttle, still caught up over Pike's death and the damn bastard Khan. Then she came along and you're left leg was tingling. You didn't really mind it at first. You had other things to think about. Then you found out who she really was, and it all made sense. Carol Marcus. Your soulmate.

Then your heart went out to Bones. You remembered how scared the two of you were the first time you both realized how much you meant to each other. How much you loved him and how much he loved you. You've seen the effect this soulmate thing had on people. You saw your mom struggling to move on after she lost hers, and it wasn't fair. What was the point of having something to love, and enjoy, and give all of yourself to, then lose it all to fate. From then on you swore you would stop this from happening to you, no matter what bullshit fate threw your way.

He'd had enough of it all too. He'd been burned once by the soulmate still written on his chest. Pamela Branch was his soulmate, and he was hers. By all intents and purposes, they were perfect for each other. But everything went to shit when they found each other drifting away. She decided he wasn't worth the work and stress of a married life, and he decided she wasn't worth the fight. Two souls burned by the system they decided to follow by waiting for each other, not even realizing the work it took to stay together.

When you first met in that shuttle, there was no tingling or butterflies in the stomach. You were both just there, waiting to get to a new beginning. Then you met with him again, and again, and again, and you realized you loved spending time with him. Then you realized you loved him.

It was hard at first. You convinced yourself it was just a fluke, a spur of the moment feeling. Yet you still hung out with him, and he kept making you smile, and laugh, and feel so many things. Then you decided he was it.

So one night in his room you told him you love him. He was devastated. He told you he loved you too, but he couldn't let it get anywhere passed that. He loved you too much to risk getting this wrong again, and he certainly didn't want to go between you and your soulmate. But you were just as stubborn and showed him just how much you loved him too.

At that point, you did something you swore you'd never do: you gave all of yourself to him. But he was worth it. So you promised, no matter the scars you both had, you were it for each other. He was skeptical at first because he knew you hadn't met her yet, so you couldn't have promised this. But you stood by that promise because you loved each other and that was enough.

At least it should've been enough. Right?

After everything that happened with you and Khan, you desperately wanted to talk to Bones. You wanted to tell him that this did not change anything because you still loved him and only him. But he wouldn't have it. He knows about Carol and you deserve much better now, kid. It was fun while it lasted.

You didn't wanna hear that.

That can't be it.

Then you see her, and she's careful with her words. She shows you the back of her neck. There, in stark contrast to her pale skin, your name written in your script. You don't know how to feel at that moment. You're angry, but not at her. You're angry at the system that has no regard for free will, at everyone for perpetuating this shit, but mostly, you're angry at yourself for forgetting the people you affected by promising something that was always going to be out of your hands.

You see her, and she's cautious of you. She's probably wondering what type of person you are. Lord knows she already thinks you live up to your bad reputation.

You can't help but ask her what she wants. For herself, forgetting what you or everyone else wants.

She's confused but she tells you, she wants to study and continue her work. She wants to get as far away from Earth as possible and be her own person.

You tell her to go do it. To be free to do whatever she wants and to be the person she wants to be. You tell her she deserves better than you. You who promised yourself to someone else with no regard to that his soulmate wanted. You who wanted to be his own person too.

For a second, you think you did the wrong thing. She's silent for a while, but she's looking at you as if she knows something you don't. She probably does. Then she smiles. She tells you that you're definitely not who she thought you were. She tells you that she's thankful you both spent the time to talk with each other. She also tells you that she's thankful to have a soulmate like you. She offers to be there when you need her because she knows the value of a true soulmate. The romance is just an added benefit.

That's when you finally get that the world got it wrong. Soulmates aren't always meant to be the person you marry or start a family with. A soulmate is someone you could connect with. They're someone who can sympathize with you, but call you out when needed because they care enough for you to be a better version of yourself.

A soulmate is someone like Carol, who pushes you to be an example to the people you lead.

A soulmate is someone like Spock, who influences you to look at things in different perspectives and act according to the benefit of others,

Or Nyota, who reminds you of your true potential,

Or Scotty, who reminds you to open your mind and be creative,

Or Sulu, who reminds you to be a better listener and a better follower,

Or Chekov, who reminds you to be a better leader who fosters the potential of others,

Or Bones, who reminds you of why you needed soulmates in the first place.

You're lying in bed now, and you have him in your arms again. It took a while, but you finally got him to see sense. After the talk you had with Carol, you sought him out to tell him exactly how you feel. About him, about soulmates, and about yourself. Some things might have changed, you tell him. But no matter how many soulmates you'll have, he will be the only one you love enough to share the rest of your life with.

Sure, he still has his doubts. There will be nights when you're both drunk out of your asses. Those nights, he'll tell you he's afraid of waking up to find out it was all a dream, and you're actually out there in the Laurentian science station with Carol. He tells you how he sometimes thinks of how perfect you two looked together, with your blond hair and blue eyes and the perfect little kids you'll have in outer space.

But you're always quick to tell him that he's wrong. That if you ever plan on having the the perfect life, this would be it. With him. Of course, he'll look at you with his brow raised and tell you how much of a sap he thinks you are. But he'll kiss you either way and tell you he loves you too.

You look at him as he sleeps, heedless of the comings and goings of this ship. You touch his cheek and you realize how happy you are just to be here with him. You hope he's happy with you, too. Happy enough that when you offer your ring and ask, he'll say yes.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually my first fic! Possibly my last. Either way, it's really just to get something in my account. I just really like Jim and Bones together. I also really like Soulmate AU's but also looking at how it'll be if it doesn't work out the way it usually does. It's based after the post I read here: 
> 
> krumcake[dot]tumblr[dot]com/post/84983728019/honestly-im-really-only-interested-in-soulmate
> 
> Hope you liked it!


End file.
